Ditching the Mom Guilt

by | Mar 5, 2019 | Musing | 1 comment


I hate sayings like “fed is best.”

For one, this particular phrase was developed by a formula company to market their product.

And two, we’re not stupid. We get it, our babies need to be fed. They also need oxygen but “O2 so you don’t go blue!” isn’t also a saying. That’s because yes, we’re hormonal, but we’re not stupid.

So while I’m crying in the corner of the nursery trying to breastfeed my infant child and you yell “fed is best! Fed is best!” like a cheerleader who had 10 hours of sleep last night, it’s not going to help. Saying “fed is best” undermines all of the women who put in so much effort to try and make breastfeeding work.Plus fed isn’t best. Take a look at an obese and a healthy person. What you put into your body matters.

BUT what IS BEST might not be what WORKS BEST.

Let me tell you that again…

What technically IS best might not be what will WORK best for you and your baby.

And you know what? That’s fucking a-okay.

Just because breast milk is the best, doesn’t mean formula is the worst. Just because no TV is the best, doesn’t mean some TV is the worst.

So why do we feel that way?

My guess is that yes, nothing can prepare you for motherhood – you expect that.

It’s the mom guilt. Nothing can prepare you for the mom guilt. From the second you pee on a stick, there it is. Hovering over your shoulder like an asshole little sancti-mommy of a guardian angel.

Then shit really gets real when you have that darling little baby in your arms… you’re unbelievably hormonal, you’re trying to keep a HUMAN BEING alive and you’re also figuring out what the hell you’re doing.

Then you get a taste of the strong stuff – the sink-to-the-bottom-of-your-stomach-makes-you-loopy-in-the-head – guilt.

And any BEST is like a bulls eye to your sensitive mama heart. And you take it so incredibly personally.

But the thing is, you’re not alone.

Every single good mom on this planet is questioning whether we’re doing right by our kids. And that’s okay! But we also need to know when to take a step back and realize we’re doing the best we can.

And remember – what is best is different than what works best.

So educate yourself in what is best – then make a decision for yourself and your baby about what works best.

And ditch that freaking mom guilt to the curb.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my blog post! Check out my musing blog section for discussions on other amazing topics that are very important to me.

About Me

Hi! My name is Alex Turner. I’m a journalist turned stay at home mom living the (chaotic) dream keeping three kiddos, a rescue dog, a husband and way too many plants alive. Join me as I share my honest, funny and frustrating journey through motherhood and life.

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